Progress Report Month 4

So we've arrived at the end of month 4 with T-Tapp, and I'm excited to report that I'm down another 9 inches!  If you remember, I was a bit disappointed with my small loss after working so hard last month, then this month I hardly did anything due to being sick the first part, and on vacation last week.  I did do a MORE bootcamp (4 days), but that's about it.  I've stopped trying to figure it out :)  So my grand total since December 22 is:

38.25in

Pics for this month (click to enlarge):

Comaprison collages from December til now CLICK to enlarge:

Pretty neat, eh?

I also had my blood work redone, and my yearly exam.  Back in December, there were several things out of kilter besides my weight and energy levels.  I was very low in vit D, borderline anemic, and my blood sugars were elevated.  Thankfully I've lost 15 pounds so far.  In T-Tapp, that translates to 2 sizes with an average gain of 7-10 pounds of muscle weight....meaning DON'T worry about the scales!!!  Last time I wore an easy size 18, I weighed about 15-20 pounds less than I do now! 

I have no more anemia, and vit D is now normal.
EDITED:  found out my iron is still too low.  Moving in the right direction though.  Vit D is within normal range, but still too low for my liking.  Keeping up supplimentation.

Unfortunately, my sugars are still elevated, though they've come down from 6.1 to 6.0.  Normal is below 5.7, so I've been referred to a diabetes doc.  I'll keep ya posted.

Also, my gyno believes I have a uterine fibroid, which would explain why I'm feeling bloated and having some not-so-fun symptoms with my periods.  It would also explain why I can't hold my tummy in :)  I have a sonogram scheduled for a week from now to check it out.  If it is a fibroid, they are almost always benign and only need attention if it causes pain and so forth.  Minor surgery to remove them is a possibility.  I've done some reading online that mentions estrogen dominance can cause them.

So.....what this all means is that I may need to make some more dietary changes, and I'll be exploring how to do that via Geneen Roth's way of zero deprivation balanced with caring for my body.  Should be interesting!

Gettin' my Get-Up-N-Go on the move again...

So anyone who missed Kristine's T3 response to my last blog post needs to go down thar and give it a look-see.  This is TOTALLY how the energies support each other, and yet another reason why I LoVe Energy/Beauty Profiling.  I also got some sweet T2 support from Jeanine.  It's a profound experience to feel every emotional need being met with the different energies.....even those I didn't know I needed! Thanks girls...

Anyway, I'm back in the saddle and changed up some of my workouts a bit.  I haven't really found a rhythm yet, but I'm getting there. I've been switching back and forth between MORE and the first part of LadyBug Standing.    I'm thinking I do about 30 minutes of intense movement.  I need to time it as T-Tapp recommends an every-other-day schedule.  On Off days, exercise should be limited to 20 minutes or less. And there should always be at least one day completely OFF.  I find I still need to do at least a Primary Back Stretch though.

 In the meantime, I've been haunting both the LYT and T-Tapp forums, finding support and tips.  They keep me grounded.  When I isolate and think I can do it by myself, I begin a downward spiral.  I'm also going back thru Women Food and God with a fine tooth comb.  Such words of healing and understanding.  So far I'm practicing staying with myself when unpleasant emotions come up.  Which is usually just after I've stopped myself mid-grab for a treat.  Funny how that happens :)  I'll ask myself, what do I feel in my tummy?  Not hunger!  What am I hungry for?  Not an easy question to answer....and sometimes it has to do with what just happened before.

Today, for instance, I had a fabulous time visiting with a dear friend.  I'd picked up some soft pumpkin/chocolate chip cookies for my son who just had his braces worked on today.  On the way home, I found myself reaching for another one........ok, stop.  What do I feel?  This time I felt joy and contentment.  I felt peaceful.  So why did I reach for another cookie?  I'd say it was partly habit (I used to eat in the car a lot), and partly because I use food to keep me company with any strong emotional response...in this case joy.  So I quickly decided I just wanted to enjoy the happy feeling without the cookie and see what that felt like.

Within nano-seconds I'd forgotten about the darn cookies, and wasn't even tempted with the boys each had one.  That's progress.

Geneen talks about tolerating what we think is intolerable.  Often emotions get stirred and we think the feelings will overwhelm us, so we reach for food/alcohol/sex/shopping/etc. to leave ourselves for a bit.  Sensual (meaning physical) experiences are marvelous for drowning out the the more messy emotional experiences.  Sticking a tentative toe into the murky waters of feeling the feeling without leaving is the road to freedom.  But boy is it hard.....it takes patience, kindness, courage.  I'm actually wanting to experiment with talking to myself in these times as if I were my own child....words of comfort and strength, and promises to just 'be here with you' through it.  Be a doula to myself.  Interesting.  I'll keep you posted....

And before I go, here's a jacket I love:

Not sure of the source, but maybe Boston Proper? And check out the lace insert jeans!  Me want.

I'm doing some shopping tomorrow, and I'll be sure to show off any new T1 goodies I find :)

Thoughts on Weight

Yesterday I had to be at the doc's office with my daughter, so I hauled my rear onto the scale to see what it said.   I purposely wore the same outfit I did back in December, and it just happened to be about the same time of day too.  I'd lost 10 pounds in 6 weeks' time. That time period included the holidays and my vacation to Florida.  It also included eating junk food when appropriate, and adding in some healthy smoothies, soups and salads...but I never denied myself.  I REFUSE TO DIET.  I eat when I'm hungry, and stop when I'm satisfied.

The biggest change I'm making is simply being aware of what my body wants and when it's had enough.  Geneen Roth has guidelines for eating to help those of us who eat compulsively, and they can be summed up in BEING AWARE.  No tuning out.  It *is* hard, and brings to the surface all the yukkies that have lurked below the surface....all the junk we stuff down with mindless gorging.  It takes some courage in the face of the fear.  Like Geneen says, everything we believe about life, death, ourselves, God, etc can be found right on our plate.  But we have to be willing to look at it, be curious, and embrace what it tells us in order to change.

That number on the scale may not sound like much, but I'm beyond thrilled.  First of all I've lost a pants size and have added at least 7 pounds of lean muscle from my Tapping, so I know the pounds lost are pure, unadulterated FAT gone from my bod.  This, my friends, is a very good thing.

I also know from reading all the testimonials on the T-Tapp forums that watching the scale is ridiculous when one is building long, lean muscles.  It's the INCHES that count.  In the modelling world, they don't care a hill o' beans what you weigh....they just want you to fit into that skimpy bathing suit.  There are women who have gone from size 22W down to a 6 or 8, losing over 100 inches, but only 30-50 pounds.  THAT is the power of T-Tapp.  

And that is also why I will only haul my rear over to the doc's office every couple months to check on my weight.    And why I don't own a scale.  And why that number will NEVER again rule my life, my emotions and my attitude.

While on vaca, I did Primary Back Stretch each day at least once, some Hoe Downs, and a full BWO+ once.    Plus we were walking for hours on end.  I got some of those goofy shoes that supposedly help shape your calves too.  Now that I'm home, Chris and I are back on schedule for working out with MORE every other day.  I add in the MORE Chair and either the  Broom or Steppin' short workouts on the MORE dvd as well as OIP/HF at the end so it counts as a full workout (40 minutes or so). I plan to add BWO+ on my off days as it's only 18 minutes. At the very least, I do PBS morning and evening and OIP/HF in the evening, and a set of HD's after meals. I ALWAYS take 2 days off each week.

I've begun the brushing sequence recommended by Teresa too, exercising my skin.  Takes about 5 minutes in the morning, and I do it just before PBS and jumping in the shower.  Gets my day off to a great start.

I'm currently enrolled in the January Jumpstart 30 Day Challenge on the forums too, which is keeping me motivated for sure!

So throw away those scales!  Stop Dieting!  Move your body in alignment, and eat consciously and watch your body and your attitude change for the better.  And keep Dressing Your Truth!  The world needs us to be who we were created to be, the best 'us' we can be :)

Can I get a Whoop Whoop?!

In 5 weeks I've lost 13.75 inches! 

My hubs measured me the first time, but I did it myself this time, so not sure we used the same tension and placement.....I'll have him measure me again tonight to compare. THEN I'm gonna buy that Myo Tape thingy.

I sorta can't believe it.....I kept measuring and remeasuring, then calculating and recalculating, and I'm just blown away. I decided at the get-go to only measure every month or so because I really want to focus on getting healthy and the numbers distract me. 

I'll be at the doc's office in 10 days to see what my weight did.


My workouts, in case you're interested, have been:

2 week Boot Camp using MORE
Then every other day...adding MORE Chair at the end.
Did *Primary Back Stretch, Organs in Place/Half Frogs at least once a day, twice on workout days
Did a set of Hoe Downs during the day once in awhile.

During this time I also had 5 days of not doing a complete workout due to being in the hospital with my mom....but I always tried to focus on proper posture, did lots of deep breathing, and PBS*. Did some modified plies one night at 3 am. :)

I added lots of veggies and fruits, but didn't cut out treats now and then. I'm not dieting, just trying to add in healthy stuff to crowd out the bad stuff, and eating very purposefully ala Geneen Roth. Ate when I was hungry, tried to stop before I was totally stuffed (most of the time) Increased my water intake too.

Here's this month's pics:

Here's some comparison shots.  I see the most difference in my waist and tummy so far.

So there ya have it:  T-Tapp works!

I'll be entering the 30 Day January Jump Start Challenge over on the forums in the More to Lose Category.  Winners get a trip to Teresa's Beauty Boot Camp in Safety Harbour, FL.  

How awesome would that be?  
Wicked awesome, I can tell ya.

Off to slurp a green smoothie.....then tomorrow we leave for Disney World!!!!  

A purge and some ponderings.

This morning I decided I was sick of looking at a closet full of cute T1 clothes that I couldn't fit into.  I decided to purge and only keep what I would actually wear.  It was kinda depressing.  

Here's what my closet looks like now:

Kinda boring, eh?  That animated brown fleece I got on clearance last week at Old Navy looks pretty awesome though!  Granted, there's a few more colorful tops in the laundry, but that's most of my wardrobe.

Here's what's going to storage....lots of pretty colors!  Because I'm trying REALLY HARD to not set unreachable goals about my size, I think it's best to put these away for now.  It's too tempting to get down on myself because they are too tight. But tell me how cute they are!

I've been consistent with my T-Tapp workouts, generally doing MORE every other day (EOD) with a few basic moves on the off days.  I've also finished Geneen Roth's book Women Food and God.  I must say it was most excellent.  I'll be sharing some tidbits from each chapter as I go back thru it.  I LOVE that T-Tapp and Dressing Your Truth dovetail so nicely with Roth's philosophy.  It struck me that each of these women represent a different Energy/Beauty profile than mine, and each are different to each other!  

So I get nutured by Geneen's T2, pushed by Carol's T3, and perfected by Teresa's T4.  They all help balance my random T1-ness....and I can take whatever 'medicine' I need most at the proper time.  I feel blessed.  These women and myself make a colorful, complete circle.  

Something else I've been doing.....looking at my baby pictures.  It grounds me somehow.  I feel more connected to that little girl....more healthy and free.  See?  Totally T1.  This hangs in our bedroom...

And here's a wee collage I made with some random shots. Mom did pretty well dressing me in my T1 chromas and elements, eh?  (She's a T1 too....hmmmmmm)

I'm comforted looking at these.  I get in touch with the carefree world of toddlerhood.  Nothing to worry over, nothing to fret about.  I didn't have these pictures for a long time, and when I discovered them at my folks' house several years ago, I was uncomfortable looking at them.  Very critical, very non-T1 of me!  I didn't feel like a particularly pretty child.  I wished I had blond hair like my sis. I wish I didn't have chunky thighs and big cheeks.  

But having girls of my own who have been way too critical of their appearance, I learned to have grace for myself and see the indescribable beauty that was (and is!) me, both as a child and as a grown woman.  I was darn cute!  And I made others around me smile.  I was 'in my element' as a toddler.  I want to be 'in my element' now too :)

Day 9 down the pike.

Hubs and I did another day of T-Tapp MORE this evening.  We do the workout an hour or so after dinner, and it's been working so far.  (Hubs is a Type 3, so he helps us get r done).  I also did the T-Tapp Chair, a short workout done sitting down, also on the MORE dvd.  I've had lots of folks ask me what in the world 'tapping' is when I mention what I'm doing.

Teresa Tapp is the creator and founder of T-Tapp.  I'll let her tell ya what it is....

For me, it's exercise I can do.  It's quick, purposeful, and provides results.  For me, that's the bottom line (and don't forget to tuck that bottom, BTW).   When I did T-Tapp 18 months ago, I started with her Basic Workout Plus, an 18 minute routine, and did it almost every day.  I added in a move called 'Organs in Place' at the end, and often did her signature 'Hoe Downs' a couple times during the day.  I couldn't believe how strong I felt.  Then life happened.  As it's known to do.  A lot.

I gained back all my weight and started having health issues again.  I knew T-Tapp was the only exercise I could manage, but by this time, even the Basic Workout Plus was too difficult.  This time I ordered the  MORE Rehab Program.  Perfect fit.  I hope to move onto BWO+ after a month or so, and switch back and forth between the two for awhile until I can just do BWO+ each day.

Eventually I hope to begin adding in one move at a time from the more difficult Total Workout.  It much more focused and difficult (and nearly impossible when you have famine pouches around your mid section, ask me how I know), but produces the fastest results....and get this:  you only need to do it 2 to 3 times a week to get results or maintain inch loss.

The last thing I'm totally stoked about is a T-Tapp clinic I'm attending in a couple weeks!  A trainer from the Indy area is coming to my hometown, so I jumped on the opportunity to meet other tappers and get form tips from a certified T-Tapp trainer.  I won't be able to get thru the workout, and I'll prolly be embarrassed at my pudges, but I'm determined to make it FUN!  I'm stepping WAAAAY out of the box to do this, and I"ll be sure to post pics and share my experience.

For those who already tapp....what's your favorite workout?

Taking a Chance on Change.

Welcome to a realist's attempt to make honest, sustaining (and sustainable) change).  Having embarked on this kind of thing several times in the past, I enter with trepidation, cyncism, intellectual honesty, and a tiny dollop of hope on top.  It takes guts to get up off the floor, walk away from the fridge, and start caring about yourself again.  Especially if you've had awesome successes and brilliant failures in this life.  It's the path of least resistence to say "Why do it again?  I'll just end up fatter and more unhealthy than I am now."

Well, I'm gonna chance it.  Again.  I have choices in life, and I'm choosing to chance changing my physical health and appearance instead of ignoring it.  Even if I do end up fatter and more unhealthy.  For now, I'm chancing change.

Here's where the journey starts, in full color, assuming the "T-Tapp Stance":

If those weren't a wake-up call for change, other more serious issues have helped schooch me towards wanting something different for this stage of my life.  Things like having energy to enjoy my children, joints that don't hurt, b'bye to migraines, chest pains, acid reflux, and general maliase.  

I want to do this because I'm on the cusp of 44, and knowing I don't want to spend the next 40 years feeling physically, emotionally, and spiritually out of sync....if I've even got that long.  And I'm seriously thinking about how my habits are cutting my timeline short everyday.  I'm not scared of death, though I don't relish the idea of suffering a long illness that leads to it, but I want to see my kids' kids' kids.  My gramma is still kickin' at 93, and I want to see that birthday cake too.....

Please note I will not be weighing or measuring myself constantly.  Rather I will post pictures once a month in the same fashion as above.  I really don't want this to be a weightloss blog...although I believe change in attitude and outlook are often reflected in the physical, so I'd rather chronicle thru pictures, and not just numbers.  My plan at this point is to make a trip over to the doc's office once a month to weigh, and have hubs re-do my measurements at that time. I'll post those numbers and any other statistical info that might help paint the 'change' picture as well, such as blood work results. Speaking of which, here's my current results:
 Vit D is 25 (should be 60-80)...beginning supplimentation with this
Glucose 6.1 (should be under 5.7)
Iron 11 (should be 12-15)...beginning supplimentation with a script from the doc.

Because of that middle number, I'm officially "increased risk for diabetes".  THAT is a wakeup call.
The other two numbers explain why I'm so ding dang tired all the time.

Today hubs and I started our exercise with T-Tapp MORE instructional.  Kicked our booties.  Yay.

It's really important for me to dig below my food addiction.  To learn to be kind to myself, because afterall, you can't love your neighbor worth a flip if you're not loving yourself, eh?  I've spent years caring for myself with food, and I need to learn new, healthier ways to do that.  I believe that our addictions are never fully conquered, but that choices and habits we make can help us tame them, cope with our humanity, and practice humility. I don't want to feel punished or shamed.  I also go into this with the understanding that my personality leans towards compulsion....and lifestyle changes could easily become my religion du jour.  I'm ok with that.  At least for now.  I plan to delve into some very personal, not-so-pretty aspects of my life on here, as I try again to deal with what makes me tick.  One of those things, be it good or bad, is being candid and real.  My style of candid and real is considered offensive and pretty raw to some.  If you're bothered by that, I'll try to place warning signs before those kind of posts.....you can just skip to the pictures or what-have-you.

I have lots more to say, but I'll save it for another post.  

wishing and working for peace in all things,