Taking a Chance on Change.

Welcome to a realist's attempt to make honest, sustaining (and sustainable) change).  Having embarked on this kind of thing several times in the past, I enter with trepidation, cyncism, intellectual honesty, and a tiny dollop of hope on top.  It takes guts to get up off the floor, walk away from the fridge, and start caring about yourself again.  Especially if you've had awesome successes and brilliant failures in this life.  It's the path of least resistence to say "Why do it again?  I'll just end up fatter and more unhealthy than I am now."

Well, I'm gonna chance it.  Again.  I have choices in life, and I'm choosing to chance changing my physical health and appearance instead of ignoring it.  Even if I do end up fatter and more unhealthy.  For now, I'm chancing change.

Here's where the journey starts, in full color, assuming the "T-Tapp Stance":

If those weren't a wake-up call for change, other more serious issues have helped schooch me towards wanting something different for this stage of my life.  Things like having energy to enjoy my children, joints that don't hurt, b'bye to migraines, chest pains, acid reflux, and general maliase.  

I want to do this because I'm on the cusp of 44, and knowing I don't want to spend the next 40 years feeling physically, emotionally, and spiritually out of sync....if I've even got that long.  And I'm seriously thinking about how my habits are cutting my timeline short everyday.  I'm not scared of death, though I don't relish the idea of suffering a long illness that leads to it, but I want to see my kids' kids' kids.  My gramma is still kickin' at 93, and I want to see that birthday cake too.....

Please note I will not be weighing or measuring myself constantly.  Rather I will post pictures once a month in the same fashion as above.  I really don't want this to be a weightloss blog...although I believe change in attitude and outlook are often reflected in the physical, so I'd rather chronicle thru pictures, and not just numbers.  My plan at this point is to make a trip over to the doc's office once a month to weigh, and have hubs re-do my measurements at that time. I'll post those numbers and any other statistical info that might help paint the 'change' picture as well, such as blood work results. Speaking of which, here's my current results:
 Vit D is 25 (should be 60-80)...beginning supplimentation with this
Glucose 6.1 (should be under 5.7)
Iron 11 (should be 12-15)...beginning supplimentation with a script from the doc.

Because of that middle number, I'm officially "increased risk for diabetes".  THAT is a wakeup call.
The other two numbers explain why I'm so ding dang tired all the time.

Today hubs and I started our exercise with T-Tapp MORE instructional.  Kicked our booties.  Yay.

It's really important for me to dig below my food addiction.  To learn to be kind to myself, because afterall, you can't love your neighbor worth a flip if you're not loving yourself, eh?  I've spent years caring for myself with food, and I need to learn new, healthier ways to do that.  I believe that our addictions are never fully conquered, but that choices and habits we make can help us tame them, cope with our humanity, and practice humility. I don't want to feel punished or shamed.  I also go into this with the understanding that my personality leans towards compulsion....and lifestyle changes could easily become my religion du jour.  I'm ok with that.  At least for now.  I plan to delve into some very personal, not-so-pretty aspects of my life on here, as I try again to deal with what makes me tick.  One of those things, be it good or bad, is being candid and real.  My style of candid and real is considered offensive and pretty raw to some.  If you're bothered by that, I'll try to place warning signs before those kind of posts.....you can just skip to the pictures or what-have-you.

I have lots more to say, but I'll save it for another post.  

wishing and working for peace in all things,