Thursday, June 9, 2011

Been too long!


I have several posts in the works that I'm pretty stoked about.....

BUT

(and you knew that was coming, eh?)  life has thrown a curve ball my way again...

I have mentioned previously that much of my inspiration and desire for change comes from my mom's experience with metastatic breast cancer, most especially from the radical surgery she endured in January which left her without most of her sternum.  In the almost five months since then, she has slowly recovered her strength.   We were looking forward to a full recovery and placed much faith in the doctor's hope that he'd bought her at least a year.  

Yesterday we learned the cancer returned, and there is now nothing that can be done.  She may endure some radiation to slow the growth of the tumors that now reside behind the miniscule section of sternum left which connects to her collarbones.  But now the clock ticks (as it really does for all of us, but we're not aware of it most of the time) and I realize once again the precious nature of each day, each conversation, each moment.   I will continue to live my life in the present tense, so thankful I've had a lot of practice these last months as I enter this rather scary season of prolonged goodbye.....not running away from my emotion or anyone else's, but embracing each messy, sacred moment while I still have my mama.  I will take hold of joy with gusto, practice tenderness with myself and others when the dark moments come, and be true to my T1 nature without apology.  Because that's how I roll.  It's also how my T1 mama rolls. :)


I will continue to honor my mom by working on my inner and outer self.  My journey of learning who I am has many times been propelled by her encouragement and example.  I have no intention of stopping now....





7 comments:

  1. Your mom is beautiful. You are all in my prayers.

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  2. Keeping all of you in my prayers. Treasure each moment.

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  3. My heart aches for you. I am sad for you but now you KNOW how very special and precious each moment is...and will treasure it and make memories to hold close to your heart when she has passed over-and back (in my belief anyway) to the Lord.

    I will pray for you, Cindy. I have been in your shoes...watching my Mom take a prolonged journey of 5 years and my father with an even longer journey of 11 years. If you ever need to vent, or cry, or smile...I am only an email away!

    You are right- the best gift you can give your Mom is to see you working towards a healthy, whole life! xo Diana

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  4. I'm sorry to hear your news, Cindy. Peace to you and your momma as you walk this road. If you need ANYTHING, please don't hesitate to let me know. I'm close by and available for you.
    --Lori S.

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  5. I'm so sorry for this news. Enjoy her!

    Donna

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  6. I'm so sad to hear this! My heart goes out to both of you! I pray you will both find peace and enjoy every little moment you have together!

    {{{HUGS}}}

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  7. Cindy, I am so sorry about your mom. You are a precious daughter to her and so wise to be making every moment count. I love your blog and your T-1 ness! Your outfits are adorable. In each one, I think "oh, I wish I could just give her a big hug!" I'm in the process of discovering my type.....I think a 2, but not positive. Take care, Cindy, and God bless you.

    Jean

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I'm all ears! Er, eyes.