Wednesday, June 22, 2011

6 Month Progress Report.

Totally didn't want to write this post.  I had in my brain that I'd do this big awesome 6 month celebration to mark how far I'd come with my T-Tapp and eating for health journey.

Instead, I must report that not only did I not lose any inches, I gained back 2.50. Measuring is such a weird thing.  I measured my parts 3 and sometimes 4 different times and got different numbers each time.  I tried to stand in T-Tapp stance and keep my muscles tight, (this is how my hubby measured me 6 months ago), but gave up and just stood straight and kept muscles tight.  I don't know if I'm measuring in the same spot each time.  I can't remember if I measured over workout clothes or not.  It's just so hard to know if I'm REALLY losing or gaining.  Comparing measurements, I lost in my pecs, ribs and my right upper thigh...how random is that?  My waist, abs and hips all gained at least an inch each.  Everything else stayed the same.

Also, I gained 8 pounds since last month.  Sure, it was on a different scale (digital doctor's office scale)  than I'd used last month at the diabetes doc (old fashioned balance-type), but even if 5 pounds of that was water/weirdness, I'm not losing anything.

My eating was off this month.  Didn't eat within hunger, ate out a lot and over did it on nuts.  BUT I also doubled the amount of minutes each week I worked out.  Needless-to-say I'm discouraged.  It's ruined my day, obviously, and makes me want to throw in the towel.  My body simply will not go smaller than a women's 18, and folks, that's just unacceptable to me.  I've Tapped for 6 months STRAIGHT, and lost a couple sizes the first 6 weeks, then nada.  It's too hard a workout to continue without seeing some measurable results.

I'm also tumbling thru thoughts like "I'll just stop eating",  "I'll exercise even more", "I'll learn to purge".  Not proud of these thoughts, but damn I'm feeling so hopeless.  It's all well and good to say you'll exercise and eat right to be healthy, but when you're working harder than you ever have with exercise and eating and seeing NO measureable results in an entire month.....well, it sucks.  Just sayin'.

I suppose I'll just stop measuring/weighing and just take monthly pictures.  The stress and apprehension of "picture/measure day" takes a huge toll on my emotions.  I hate that.

Anyway,  here's my pictures this month, for what they're worth.




Collages:

Honestly don't know where to go from here.  To continue doing the same thing and expecting different results is, I've hear, the definition of stupidity.  I just don't know what else to do.  Sorry to whine.  I'll talk about something fun like mineral makeup later this week and ignore my growing mid-section.

12 comments:

  1. Cindy-If you feel comfortable with doing so- would you email me so I have your email addy? Thanks- Diana

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  2. You look good! I lost weight and inches doing an hour on the treadmill everyday, have you tried that?

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  3. Oh Cindy! We soo need to talk girl! I know exactly how you feel! I've been stuck for two years now and I eat super healthy and workout with a trainer even and still haven't lost anything! It's maddening! And I totally get it ~ when nothing seems to be working you're willing to do or try just about anything! I just keep trying to remind myself that I'm doing the right things with my diet and exercise and someday it will come off, but I still have my moments!

    {{{HUGS}}}

    Btw, I think you're looking pretty awesome though!!! I'm serious!

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  4. Cindy, have to say that you look so good! The change you have experienced so far is great, I am sure in reality you look even better, often pictures don't say the whole story. I'll share something with you here. I was where you were (ok, a few sizes less same story), actually it was even worse - I couldn't lose even a size even after 8-9 months. I was super consistent, I am usually inconsistent. I took several online courses with trainers, I read a lot, tried to improve my form, and nada. Then I jad to go abroad for a month. I stopped t-tapp, I did only 3-4 BWO for that period (and it was during the first 10 days). And the miracle happened - my friends told me I look smaller from the pictures they saw in facebook. Then I really felt different. When I came back home, my colleagues were more than surprised. I guess the difference was so much. So, dear Cindy, do not give up. I can see there is a lot of stress for you now. It is a hard thing to deal with but it will be ok after some time. Just don't beat yourself up and do whatever you can. I gave up measuring every week, I even reached the point when I didn't care if I'd lose an inch or so, I just went on. Obviously it worked after all. Hugs for you!
    Gergana

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  6. I'm a new follower...found you on the TTapp forums....please follow me back when you get a chance: www.dailydoseofdelsignore.com

    I am in the same boat as you with the workouts. It's been a tough road. Thanks for being so open and honest about it.

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  7. I know nothing about T-Tapp. But, I must say that looking at your pictures, I see quite a change. Look at those last ones!! You have NO rolls and a flat stomach. Wow.
    --Lori

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  8. Don't give up...remember you are living a healthier lifestyle no matter what the outside results...maybe you need to mix it up a bit...add in different exercise? different eating? our bodies are too good at adjusting...I do understand... I am starting my weight loss journey...again...i know where you are...i am there too...hugs to you.
    rene

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  9. me again..just read back and read about your mama...I am sorry...and I so admire your attitude to honor her and to live each moment with her...

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  10. Cindy: You look beautiful! Great job. We all reach plateaus in life and need a short break before plowing back in. I have had good luck with low carb diets, because you get to eat and still have success. I don't know if that would be compatible with health issues. Thanks for your posts.

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  11. I think you are looking great and you need to STOP beating yourself up over it!! You can do this!! I know it seems hard at times but just keep reminding yourself of the rewards! I know you said that an 18 is just not acceptable to you and I kinda feel bad abt that! I was pushing a 24 at the beginning of the year and honestly I was and still am very excited to be back in an 18! I can now shop in regular clothing stores and it feels great! I know having diabetes makes it harder for your body but I know you can do this!! Come on over and say Hi sometime. I have a post I do on Wednesdays called Weigh IN Wednesdays. I have been doing it for two months now even though I never have any public party goers. THey usually just email me directly to chat abt it and I don't know why. We all can benefit from cheering each other on and being there for each other.
    So I say keep it at girl!! I think you are looking fabulous! You can see it in your face.

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  12. Cindy, I love the idea of just pictures and no weight or measurement! Seriously, I haven't owned a scale in years and I even lost my measuring tape a awhile ago. Always remember, your body will heal on the inside before it shows up on the outside. ((HUGS))
    Kayla

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I'm all ears! Er, eyes.