6 Month Progress Report.

Totally didn't want to write this post.  I had in my brain that I'd do this big awesome 6 month celebration to mark how far I'd come with my T-Tapp and eating for health journey.

Instead, I must report that not only did I not lose any inches, I gained back 2.50. Measuring is such a weird thing.  I measured my parts 3 and sometimes 4 different times and got different numbers each time.  I tried to stand in T-Tapp stance and keep my muscles tight, (this is how my hubby measured me 6 months ago), but gave up and just stood straight and kept muscles tight.  I don't know if I'm measuring in the same spot each time.  I can't remember if I measured over workout clothes or not.  It's just so hard to know if I'm REALLY losing or gaining.  Comparing measurements, I lost in my pecs, ribs and my right upper thigh...how random is that?  My waist, abs and hips all gained at least an inch each.  Everything else stayed the same.

Also, I gained 8 pounds since last month.  Sure, it was on a different scale (digital doctor's office scale)  than I'd used last month at the diabetes doc (old fashioned balance-type), but even if 5 pounds of that was water/weirdness, I'm not losing anything.

My eating was off this month.  Didn't eat within hunger, ate out a lot and over did it on nuts.  BUT I also doubled the amount of minutes each week I worked out.  Needless-to-say I'm discouraged.  It's ruined my day, obviously, and makes me want to throw in the towel.  My body simply will not go smaller than a women's 18, and folks, that's just unacceptable to me.  I've Tapped for 6 months STRAIGHT, and lost a couple sizes the first 6 weeks, then nada.  It's too hard a workout to continue without seeing some measurable results.

I'm also tumbling thru thoughts like "I'll just stop eating",  "I'll exercise even more", "I'll learn to purge".  Not proud of these thoughts, but damn I'm feeling so hopeless.  It's all well and good to say you'll exercise and eat right to be healthy, but when you're working harder than you ever have with exercise and eating and seeing NO measureable results in an entire month.....well, it sucks.  Just sayin'.

I suppose I'll just stop measuring/weighing and just take monthly pictures.  The stress and apprehension of "picture/measure day" takes a huge toll on my emotions.  I hate that.

Anyway,  here's my pictures this month, for what they're worth.

Collages:

Honestly don't know where to go from here.  To continue doing the same thing and expecting different results is, I've hear, the definition of stupidity.  I just don't know what else to do.  Sorry to whine.  I'll talk about something fun like mineral makeup later this week and ignore my growing mid-section.