Tuesday, February 22, 2011

On Setting Goals.

Some folks really thrive on setting and meeting goals.  (*ahem* Type 3s)  Another group spends oodles of time researching how they'll meet their goal and write up detailed plans to help get them there. (yep T2's) Still others construct a rigid schedule to be *sure* they meet their goals (*cough* T4's). Then there's those who kinda set a fuzzy endpoint, meander around starting, getting bored, restarting using something different, then waking up some morning having surpassed their goal without realizing it.  Thaaaat'd be me, T1 to the hilt.

Or I simply set a goal, then proceed to sabbotage myself.  But that's another post for another day (hello Geneen Roth).

I understand the importance of goal-setting when pursuing any worthwhile endeavor, but I'm thinking for me, I need loose and very attainable goals ahead of me.  With that in mind, I've restructured my short term goals, and have once again refocused my long-term goal as a state of mind, not a size.

At the beginning, I thought maybe one size per 4-6 weeks.  Now I've moved that to every 2 months.  And even then I give myself wiggle room :)  For instance, by the end of this month I have written on my calendar "size 18-20".  That means I can fit into ANY size 20 I pick up, and am able to get into some 18's comfortably.  Next goal would be "size 16-18" at the end of April.  And so on.  This would put me at a size 8-10 by the end of this year.

But I can't really think about that.  If I do, I get discouraged and start starring at my thighs in disgust.  I wrote it down in the calendar.  Out of sight, out of mind.  My goal is to do some kind of movement each day.  I make it easy to win :)

And if I look as beautiful as all these models (all of which except the one with the dress form, are size 12-14 taken from this site), then I'll have arrived.

One last thought....at times I think focusing on the goal causes us to miss the life we're living now.  The present moment.  I'm chancing change not to look different, but to learn to live in the present tense.  A beautiful size 18-20.  Right now.


  1. Oh my...YOU are beautiful inside and out! I'm with you on the slow but steady goals though. Enjoy life as it comes and not beat ourselves up too much along the way.
    Cheering you on!! xoxo

  2. That's a wonderful mindset for sure. Keep on keepin' on!


    Take each day as it comes and you will be amazed.

    Hugs to you!
    DYT Kristine

  4. Hey Cindy,

    I'm catching up a bit here as I so enjoy your writing, whether it's happening at Cottage Instincts or not! Just wanted to let you know I'm cheering you on from the sidelines and am proud of you for bravely seeking positive change in your life.

    Having struggled with body image issues for all of my 20s (I'll be 31 this summer and I'm *finally* making real headway in finding peace with myself 10+ years later...thanks mostly to a 6-month stint of therapy with an eating disorder psychologist!), I appreciate the wisdom of this post.

    I've focused far too long on thoughts like "when my thighs are smaller, I'll be happier/feel more pretty, etc." It's only since having my son four years ago that I realized I couldn't plan/control the future as I'd like--because I was always living for the future up to that point in my life. And by extension I'm learning slowly but surely to live in the moment and be kinder to myself. These lessons taking a freakin' long time to learn, don't they?!

    Even though I miss your regular posts at Cottage Instincts, you're doing the most valuable kind of work in tending to yourself and writing this blog. Stay the course!

    Take care,


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