I started with the words Carol used to describe a Type 1 energy:
Upward, light, random,
disconnected, buoyant, free,
crisp, bright, non-structured,
spontaneous, brilliant, upbeat.
I asked the question, "Which of these words need 'revived' in my life?" I know we aren't all things in our Types, but there are certainly things that I remember being a part of my life that aren't now. I was kind of offended by the word 'disconnected', for instance because for me that means I'm shallow and don't go deep in my relationships with others and myself. I'm still not completely sure what Carol meant in using that word, but I think I remember something about the ability to connect quickly and disconnect quickly. That sounds better....and would certainly describe me. But I used to feel 'less than' because of this. Like I wasn't serious enough, or too spazzy to stay connected. NOW that I know it's just a part of being a Type 1, I can let myself off the hook! It's also an asset in situations like my doula work, where the intensity can spill over to my everyday life. My ability to walk away and adjust to my regular life would be much more difficult if I couldn't disconnect from the emotion of a woman's birth experience. Especially if it was negative.
Next I noted the Dominant Quality: Cheerfully lifting us up to feel more fun and hope.
I asked myself, "In what circumstances do I find myself naturally doing this? Where do I need to do this more? What circumstances trigger me to feel hopeless?"
Wow. This was a biggie for me. I've struggled with depression my entire life. I've taken meds for the last 15 years, which I hate doing, but realize I need them for the sake of my kids. I can't 'cheerfully lift' people without them. Which I pretty much hate. Personally I struggle the most with feeling hopeless, and though I can help others feel renewed hope, I fail miserably clinging to hope within myself. A constant battle. How do I give my own gifts to myself? This is the question I'm still wrestling with since discovering my Type 1 energy. I know feeling 'boxed in' triggers deep depression and hopelessness for me. That 'boxed in' feeling can come thru limited resources (money, time, energy), relationships, and my physical surroundings. Winter is brutal for me, and I'd move south in a minute if hubby didn't love his job so much.
Other things I wrote in reaction to the above questions:
What activities will help me move back into my Type 1 nature? Movement--exercise, going out shopping, visiting/calling friends. These things no longer come easy to me. They feel out of my 'comfort zone'. Why? I've hidden myself from others out of shame about my weight, shame about my spiritual journey, and generally feeling different than or invisible to others. I might try to be conscious of my natural NEED for light movement, light cheerful convos, and fun trips. I gravitate toward brooding, and that needs balanced by more random, spontaneous movement and thought. Distractions can be a very good thing!
Why did I feel the need early on to put a cap on my excitement about things? I remember guarding myself against disappointment. It's become a (bad) habit to squelch my own excitement about things, to keep my expectations realistic.....but what happens is the experience then often becomes a huge downer, like a self-fulfilled prophecy. It will be mediocre at best because I expected it to be mediocre. I often lament the fact that the only strong emotions I ever feel are sadness and anger. Other strong emotions I keep at arm's distance. They pretty much terrify me, which for a Type 1 is a bit wrong, wouldn't you say? Somethin' ain't right! Need to do some more digging, then go out shopping :)
I have lots more, but don't want to overwhelm you! What 'oh, NOW I get it' moments have you had in getting back in touch with your Energy Type? As a 1, for instance, what qualities that should come naturally have taken a back seat and need to be put back into the driver's seat?
I'm all ears....