Tuesday, October 16, 2012

New 'do

I chanced some change with my hairs.  Got 'em all cut off.  Each and every one.

I feel like making big changes in this season, a time for new beginnings, even in my grief.  Yet I also feel exhausted, like the leaves barely clinging to the branches....ready to fall and wither.  I don't want life to just go on.  I don't want to do life without Mom here on this earth, breathing the same air as me, watching the leaves turn and fall, bundling up for winter, planning the season's holiday decor.


So I go a hair cut.  Big change.

Everyone so far is gaga over it.  Telling me how young and cute it is.

I don't know what to think.  It's been over a week and I still don't know how to get it to look like the picture up thar (that was the stylist's doing).  I feel naked and vulnerable...like people will see my fat now, not my glorious hair.  No hiding in the tresses or cute flowers.

Mom would love it.  I remember getting my first 'Dorothy Hamill' cut in the '70's and posing out front for Mom's camera.  She liked my hair short.  I had stick straight pixies in 1st and 2nd grade.  Got an asymetrical shaved/swoopy thing in high school.  A short mullet.  Lots of perms.

Here's how it looked a couple days ago after I attempted to style it:

Not so great.  Too structured (Type 4), not enough randomness.

Got a bit closer a this weekend:

I'm definitely not loving the amount of product it takes to do this.  I have no choice now except to play around with it and hope I figure it out.  Or get used to wearing hats. :)


  1. I definitely don't like it as much structured (read:conservative) but messy? It rocks!

  2. It looks a thousand times better. Don't make the bangs so heavy, sweep them over to the side, and mess up the back. Good for you!

  3. I think it looks really cute, Cindy. It does take awhile, usually, to figure out your own styling of a new haircut; but you'll get it. I've discovered "Root Mousse" which really helps me get some lift in certain areas without drying out the ends. It would probably help, too, if you go back a couple of times to your stylist to watch closely exactly how she does it. Just keep playing with it!

  4. Cindy, I love it! It shows off your awesome smile and eyes much more, and can go from cute and sassy to sleek and sophisticated! I wanted the Dorothy Hamill wedge 'do in the '70's also, but with curly hair, it would never have worked (neither would the Farrah Faucett hair!) After 48 years, I've finally made peace with the curls and now rock a shorter 'do myself. I suppose I should play with it a bit more, but I also do not care to use so much product.

    I've been reading your blog for quite awhile; it has been such a source of inspiration to me. I wanted to send you hugs for your beautifully poignant posts about your mom. So sorry for your loss. Please take the time to take care of yourself during your time of grief; take the time to sort through your thoughts and feelings. And don't be afraid to post; you never know how you touch others with your powerful words!

  5. Dear Cindy

    Driven by my own instinct I decided to write you....

    I never read your blogs before and just found them with links from pinterest. Not like the ones on many other blogs, your words made their way straight to my heart. They seem to have a strenght, showing very clearly that you go your own way, even in these extremly hard times. You write so authentic and out of real life it just makes me shiver. And as I have a very close and enormously strong relationship with my own mother, my heard seems to break only by reading the words after your loss.

    Your mom must have been the most happiest mother having you as her daughter!!

    Knowing it doesn't make any of your's better I am just feeling with you and thank you for sharing all your beautiful thought and words!

    (janine.freudiger@hotmail.com, from Switzerland)

  6. The new due (sp) reminds me of Mom. Another beautiful woman in my life.


  7. Oh my gosh - you look 20 years younger, I swear! Just keep making it "messy" and you'll do fine. That cut is a great one for the shape of your face. Glad you stopped "hiding" behind the hair.

  8. I recently started DYT and have been following some of your posts - WOW, you look amazing, I am totally inspired now to chop my own hair. You were always lovely but I think your beauty really shines without the hair distracting from your features. I also have to say you are a beautiful person, I really enjoy your blog -thank you.
    T4 friend

  9. You are amazing ! Keep on my dear ...


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